5 Sure-Fire Ways for Women to Stay Faithful

by Chinie & guest blogger Lally of MiCocina

Let’s get real. Women are just as likely to cheat on their spouses as men are — just not always for the same reasons… er… reason… ummm.. we mean just for sex. 

Whatever a potential cheating woman’s reasons might be, however, we like to think that we’re better equipped than men are to resist the temptation. If you’re not too sure about that, here are 5 methods that might help.

1. Think.

  Honestly. This is a gimme. When faced with tempation, all you really need to do is take a few minutes to THINK — about what you’re about to do, what the consequences will be, who’ll get hurt and whether it’s all worth it. More often than not it’s NOT worth the guilt and aggravation, and that should ideally be enough to keep you from straying.

Don’t be an idiot. Just walk away. 

If thinking isn’t your strong point, you may need some stronger solutions….

2. Don’t Drink.

FACT: Alcohol unleashes your inner slut. You know it. We know it. We all have some sort of experience to verify it.

If you haven’t walked away and are in a situation that could get a little too social (if you know what we mean) — don’t drink! People use “I was drunk” as an excuse so often, but oh puhleeezzz… the truth is we know exactly what we’re doing when we’re drunk — we just don’t care as much.  So don’t go there.

3. Get Gassy.

Okay… so it’s possible that some women don’t actually NEED alcohol to unleash their inner slut. (You know who you are)  If that’s the case, then let food be your faithful friend.  Gassiness and bloating are excellent antidotes to illicit sexual cravings. (Actually, any sexual cravings)

Here’s Lally’s list of gas-producing foods. Fill ‘er up, baby!

• Dairy - The sugar found in milk (called lactose) can cause gas and bloating if you don’t have enough lactase to counteract it.
• Substitute Sugars - found in the “fake” sugar packets as well as some processed foods. You can identify these by looking for ingredients ending in “-tol”. Sorbitol is the most commonly found man-made sugar in low calorie foods.
• Starches - found in potatoes, wheat, rice, oats and corn. Beans and legumes are packed with starches that can cause gas from a build up of bloating in the small and large intestines.
• Fiber from whole wheat. (The less processed, the more fiber)
• Cellulose - found in vegetables like cabbage, beans, and fruits like apples, pears, peaches and prunes. OMG. Prunes.

4. The Secret Weapon:  Granny Panties 

  Honestly— if contemplation, sobriety and gassiness still haven’t done the trick, then WOW.  You’ve got it bad. (Who IS this mystery man? We wanna see). You need to bring in the big guns… or rather the big, unsexy underwear.

Granny panties… guaranteed to cool your fervor (or his) every time.

5. The Gorilla..er..Guerilla Method, otherwise known as “The Hairy Scary”

Oh good grief. Please don’t tell us this needs an explanation.