5 Fascinating Letters from the Past

I recently came across a really interesting site called Letters of Note, which compiles all sorts of fascinating letters, postcards, telegrams, faxes, and memos.

If you’re into history (or just reading other people’s mail) you should definitely go have a look. Here are five letters I found particularly noteworthy.  

1. The Drunken Master’s Template of Shame 

In 9th century China, the ‘Dunhuang Bureau of Etiquette’ insisted that local officials use the following letter template when sending apologies to their hosts for the previous night’s drunkenness.

Translated Transcript
Yesterday, having drunk too much, I was intoxicated as to pass all bounds; but none of the rude and coarse language I used was uttered in a conscious state. The next morning, after hearing others speak on the subject, I realised what had happened, whereupon I was overwhelmed with confusion and ready to sink into the earth with shame.

2. Delivery Note from Hell

This horrifying (and really badly spelled) letter was sent to a Mr George Lusk in 1888 by someone claiming to be Jack The Ripper. It’s believed by many to be genuine. The letter was delivered along with a small box, the contents of which was later determined to be half a human kidney! (GAH!)

Transcript

From hell

signed
Catch me when you can Mishter Lusk

3.  100 Year Old Love Letter..er..Puzzle..Whatever

This hand-drawn coded letter was found within the Bryn Diogel Lodge minute book, 1879-1890.  Written by William Weightman to his ‘dearest’ Fanny, it declares his undying love and devotion to her, as well as his intentions to horsewhip Bill Robirson, a possible rival for her affections.

Transcript (more or less)

My Dearest Fanny,

I am writing these few lines to tell you that I cannot live any longer without you. I worship you always. I think you are a beauty and the nicest girl I ever saw and I adore you. Oh exquisite Fanny, do not despise me for loving you so well. I shall be broken-hearted if you desert me. Can you meet me on Monday night, when I will take you to the Star Music Hall. I hate that Bill Robinson, who is hanging after you and I intend to horsewhip him when I see him. I shall be delighted to hear from you at once. Do not let my suit be fruitless. Reply by next post to

Your loving
William Weightman

4.  JFK’s Unsigned Letter 

The letter above was JFK’s response to New York Post columnist Leonard Lyons, who contacted him after seeing Presidential autographs for sale in a store. At the time, George Washington’s was priced at $175, Ulysses S. Grant’s at $55, Franklin D. Roosevelt’s at $75, Teddy Roosevelt’s at $67.50, and JFK’s at $75.

5.  Dear Mr. President: My Teachers are FAT

This letter of complaint from a schoolboy named Richard Millington verges on comedy gold. The letter was sent to President Kennedy in February of 1963, just a few years after the U.S. government introduced the President’s Council on Physical Fitness with a view to promoting physical fitness amongst Americans, teachers included.

Transcript

2571 Portola Way
Sacramento, Calif.
February 11, 1963

P.S. Even some of the Scoutmasters have midriff bulge.

Really cool, right? You can find more at the Letters of Note website.