10 Bitchin’ Gift Ideas for Your Bitchy Friends

We’re another week closer to Christmas, so here I am again with my ongoing quest to help you fill up your gift closet.

We all have one or two bitchy friends (I have more, but let’s not compare) — and purchasing presents for them can be a little tricky.  These queens of caustic comments can be pretty hard to please. Here are ten great gift ideas that should make them cackle with glee. 

1. Books for Bitches

I may be biased since I’ve written three, but books for bitches make great gifts because of their face value. Just slap the word “Bitch” on a book cover and it’s automatically funny. I love that. 

2. The Bitch Kit

If you want to go the easy route, you can’t go wrong with Knock Knock’s Bitch Kit, a bitch-themed desk set complete with notepads, stickies, quotes, buttons and a pen.  

2.  The Daily Mood™ Desktop Accessory

Provide fair warning to your friend’s co-workers with The Daily Mood. It has 47 moods to display, each with its own smiley, a snarky definition, fascinating facts, and sample sentences.

3.  “My Dysfunctions” Guided Journal

The “My Dysfunctions” Journal is perfect for the enlightened, “self-aware but I don’t care” bitch. She’ll probably make the first entry about you - but what the hell. You already knew that.

4.  Talk to the Hand™ - Palm-sized Sticky Notes

Name one bitch who’ll hate these Talk to the Hand Sticky Notes and I’ll tell you you’re a liar. Talk to the hand, man. I’m not listening.

5.  Paper Voodoo Pad

This multiple-sheet Voodoo Pad is more suited to a witch than a bitch — but in some cases, you really can’t tell the difference anyway.

6.  Men Crying Magnets

Boohoohoo - sissy! Men Crying Magnets are awesome even for non-bitches because sometimes it’s just nice to see a man weep… “Like someone who cares, someone who has feelings, someone who can have remorse and feel sympathy. A real person. A true person. Someone like…. a woman.” (Perpetual Kid)

7.  Bitch Mousepads

You can find hundreds of bitch-themed mousepads - or design a few of your own - at Zazzle.com.  (Btw - there are bitch bags too, if you’re interested)

8.  The Sarcastic Ball

Sometimes, even the biggest bitches are stumped for a snappy comeback.  Enter the Sarcastic Ball, which provides a smartypants sarcastic answer for any yes-or-no question. When you’ve run through its repertoire, it’s also good for hurling.

9.  “Could You Be a Bigger Bitch?” Gum

Seriously, I really love this. Could there be a better present for the resident bitch? Every pack of  Could You Be a Bigger Bitch Gum contains 8 pieces of fruit flavored foolishness. 

10.  I Am Not Your Doormat™

Like all of Fred’s Feet First mats, the “I Am Not Your Doormat” is washable, durable and made from 100% recycled tires. But who cares? It’s the message that really rocks.

Other gift lists you might have missed:

• 12 Fun Ties to Suit All Types of Office Guys
• Top 10 Gifts for the Office Ditz

For even more ideas, see:

• Fun with Funds: 12 Cool Contraptions to Make Saving Suck Less
• Fun with Filing: 10 Cool Tools to Make the Task Less Tedious
• Top 10 Office Accessories for the Badass Boss