12 Fun Ties to Suit All Types of Office Guys

I always have a much harder time shopping for men than I do for women. I never really know what they want, and the one thing I do know men always want, I reserve solely for my hubby.

As a result of this, my gift closet shows a marked absence of gifts for men — and come Christmas, my male co-workers always get stuck with some boring, generic giveaway. I’d like to change that. I abuse them enough already on every other day of the year.

As far as gifts for guys go, you probably can’t get more generic than a tie. BUT, as I mentioned in my Christmas preparations post, generic doesn’t have to mean blah.  If you’re looking for some fun ties to give away to the office guys, here are a dozen options that should cover all your bases.   

1. Tongue Reversible Tie 

Perfect for: The Office Clown

Why he’ll love it: The Tongue Reversible Tie will give him countless opportunities to make a fool of himself and others — sticking his tongue out, “licking” unwilling victims, pretending to be tongue-tied, and so on.  

2. Howtie Instructional Necktie - The No Fail Tie

Perfect for: The Office Nitwit, or anyone new to tie-wearing

Why he’ll love it: The Howtie Instructional Tie shows step-by-step instructions on how to wear this blasted contraption, so he can get it right every time.   

3. Think Geek Ultimate Power Tie

Perfect for: The Boss, or any of his power-starved peons

Why he’ll love it: The Ultimate Power Tie’s power button design implies that nothing works without him, which should keep him feeling power-charged all day.  

4. ThinkGeek “Ties Suck” Tie
 

Perfect for: The Office Geek, or any nerd who understands binary code

Why he’ll love it:  The ‘Ties Suck’ Tie has a repeating pattern in binary which, when translated into its ASCII equivalent, will make his glasses fog up with glee.

5. ‘Pull Me’ Reversible Tie 
 
 
Perfect for: The Office Perv, or anyone who thinks he’s a chick magnet. 

Why he’ll love it: The ‘Pull Me’ Reversible Tie will feed his overactive and somewhat deluded imagination with visions probably too pornographic to print here. 

6. Smoking Reversible Tie 

 
Perfect for: The Office Smoker

Why he’ll love it: The Smoking Reversible Tie will be his passive-aggressive way of sticking it to the evil bastards who declared the office a no-smoking zone. 

7. Noose Reversible Tie

Perfect for: The Office Neurotic, or any guy who hates his job (or life)

Why he’ll love it: He probably won’t, but what the heck - it’s funny. Just give it to him anyway.

 8. Crossword Puzzle Tie 

Perfect for: The Office Wordsmith or Bookworm

Why he’ll love it: The Crossword Puzzle Tie is a great conversation-starter, and will allow him to display his love for words without actually having to say a single word.

9. Pouring Beer Tie

Perfect for: The Office Alcoholic, or any guy who runs straight to a bar for Happy Hour as soon as work is over.

Why he’ll love it: The Pouring Beer Tie will give him something to look forward to at the end of each day.

10. Hotdog Tie

 
Perfect for: The Office Fatty, the Office Muncher, or any guy who’s always hungry

Why he’ll love it: Much like the Crossword Tie, the Hotdog Tie is a great conversation-starter/ID badge, which will hopefully send a clear message to anyone blocking his way to the fridge or buffet. 

11. Mr. Tie Mouse Pad 

Perfect for: The back-office guy who never gets to wear a tie

Why he’ll love it: The Mr. Tie Mouse Pad will make him feel more like one of the other guys, and add some corporate color to the drab desk no one ever really sees. 

12. Dress for Dinner Napkin

Perfect for: The Office Slob, or any guy who can’t eat without spilling something on his shirt

Why he’ll love it: The Dress for Dinner Napkin will add some class to his crass, and hopefully make him look fun and quirky enough for women to overlook his messy mannerisms.

If after seeing the options above you still insist on giving the guys boring generic gifts, then at least package them in this Musical Tie of the Month Gag Gift Box.

Watch in delight as they try to process the concept of a Musical Tie of the Month Club. Enjoy their awkward and insincere expressions of gratitude as the idea of getting a Musical Tie every month for a year sinks in. And finally, witness their relief as they open the box to find your real gift inside.