Top 10 Gifts for the Office Ditz

Ahh, the office ditz — the corporate equivalent of the village idiot. While not necessarily a woman to avoid, let’s just all admit that her mentally-challenged behavior can sometimes cause us to lose our own minds.

If you read my Christmas preparation post, you may have started a gift closet by now (…or not. Whatever. Go ahead and get stressed at Christmas, see if I care). If you’re wondering what to get for a clueless co-worker, here are my top ten picks.

1.  Keyboard for Blondes

Never have to explain a keyboard button again. The Keyboard for Blondes is specifically designed to make computer use easy for the extremely tech-unsavvy.

2.  N00b Pillow

The N00b Pillow needs no explanation (except maybe to the recipient). Newbs to n00biness can find a detailed definition here.

3.  Mousepads for Dummies

Mousepads make great gifts for ditzes because they’re like permanent post-it notes. You can find a wide range of mousepads for dummies (with messages running from fond to funny to just downright mean) at Zazzle.com. 

4.  Life for (Real) Dummies Book

With all the “for Dummies” books that have been published in the past, you’d think they’d have come up with this one sooner. Well, they finally have. Go get it at Amazon.

5.  You Are Here Doormat

Don’t even deliberate. You know she needs this.  Go get it here.

6.  To Do Tattoo

It’s highly probable that this brilliant To-Do Tattoo can be used on foreheads and other body parts as well, so I say go for it. 

7. Backwards Wall Clock

If you’re a meanie, the Backwards Wall Clock is gift that benefits the giver.  To get an hourly fix of hilarity, just ask the office ditz what time it is, and watch her scrunch her forehead trying to figure it out. 

8. Pop Quiz Math Clock

If you’re not just a meanie but rather the Empress of Evil, the Pop Quiz Math Clock should provide even more fun times than the Backwards Clock.  

9.  Attention Span Tote Bag

Think of the Attention Span Tote Bag as a big ID card… or warning label, as the case may be. You’ll be doing the ditz (and everyone else) a favor, really.

10.  Birth Control Gum

Warning: This is a great prank, but if the poor girl gets pregnant because she actually believed this Birth Control Gum would work, you are duty-bound to support her child for life… so please exercise caution with this one.