The 10 Most Evil Children EVER

I happen to think evil kids are truly terrifying, but this gallery on College Humor is absolutely BRILL … mainly because of this kid:

The little devil-worshipper and the firestarting Dora fan killed me too…

>> See the other 7 at College Humor

The Difference Between Twitter and Facebook

I know, I know, there are tons of other differences… but none of them make me LOL like this one.  

via The High Definite

Everyday Annoyances of Famous Fictional Characters

Saw a whole bunch of these on Cracked today, and while some were kind of meh, a few really cracked me up.

>> See the rest on Cracked.com

A Day in the Life of an Internet Commenter

Just when you think the world is an ok place, all you need to do is read blog or YouTube comments on the Internet, and the ever-present trolls will be sure to drag you back into miserable reality.  (Don’t believe me? Check out some of the priceless gems on my post about the 12 Funniest Fake Facebook Updates.)

Ummm… who are you and why don’t you have a sense of humor? or more importantly..  a life??

I’m sure there’s a whole lot more to the psyche of the serial negative/offensive commenter than what this pic shows (abusive mother? rabid dog bite? who knows?) but I thought it was pretty amusing anyway.

Source: College Humor via Nextround.net

p.s. Not all commenters are evil trolls. In fact, MOST of you, I love. Thanks for stopping by!

Why You Should Start Prepping Your Halloween Costume NOW

Yep. We all know this is true… 

via TheHighDefinite

The Barista’s Guide to Coffee Orders

If you’ve ever had a barista (or other server) guess your order (Out Loud: “Diet Coke?” In head: “Because all you fatties seem to think a diet drink will make a difference even if you’ve ordered a ton of food?“) then you probably already suspect all servers have their stereotypes.

So well ok, one barista  on Reddit just proved it:

Incidentally his Asian stereotype is off, but I luuurve his drawings anyway so I forgive him. You? 

via Nextround.net

How to Piss Off Your Nerdy Friends

HILARIOUS! 

Thanks, College Humor!

Site to See: TheyDrawandCook.com

OMG. I have a new blog crush. (Sorry Hyperbole and a Half, I think I’m over you. Or ok, just cheating)

TheyDrawandCook.com publishes recipe renderings submitted by artists and illustrators from all over the world, and pretty much every entry looks fantastic.  You’re like  “Awww…wow…YUM!”  all throughout.  I mean really… food and art… what’s not to love? It’s a site to sate the soul AND the stomach. I only wish they’d publish a book. (Oh wait… they will.)

Here are a few of the fabulicious recipes you can find there:

>> See the Site for More

7 Sexy Halloween Costumes That Really Shouldn’t Be

Ever notice how so many young (and sometimes not so young) women use Halloween as an excuse to unleash their inner slut? “Ooh, Halloween, I’ll be a <insert occupation or character here> — but in as few articles of clothing as possible! Yay!”

You might think you can sluttify almost any costume, but no… there are some that should probably just be left alone.

Source: KillerInfographics.com via Buzzfeed

What Your Profile Picture Says About You

Yesterday I had another hilarious discussion with some Twitter friends about profile picture peeves — triggered by a comment I made about the disturbingly common “2 girls making sexy faces at the camera” avatar.  (Seriously, what’s up with that?)

It’s still on my mind (obviously) so I thought I’d write a blog post about it, but hey.. I have work to do - and a Chuck episode to watch - so here’s a hilarious guide I nicked from College Humor instead. (I added the photos, with a little help from Flickr )

What Your Facebook Profile Picture Really Means

No facebook profile picture is perfect - but here are some of the most common ones and what they reveal about our personalities.

You and your significant other
You have lost your identity. You are no longer Becky and Dave. You’re now BeckyDave, a bizarre creature with two heads, one brain, and no friends. Seriously, unless the Facebook profile is for both of you, the picture should be of just you. Also, you’re afraid of being alone. The best part is, you’ll deny any of this is accurate, but only while talking to your significant other since all your friends have been bored by you for quite some time.

 You, but a cartoon
Isn’t this hilarious? The only thing funnier than a cartoon of you is how low your self-esteem is.

You skinny, even though you’re fat in real life
How the world sees you is very important to you, but not as important as cake.

You, drunk
Either you are so shortsighted that you think getting a few laughs is more important than any job offer, or you’re too dumb to realize that people actually do form opinions based on Facebook pictures. Either way, you have a bright future in retail. Make sure you learn to fold sleeves correctly.

 A beautiful landscape
It’s kind of sad that the only nice picture taken of you is one you’re not in.

A different picture of you every day
You are the person that brings your camera to every party, lunch meeting and funeral. It’s enough - you take too many pictures, Actually, you’re not even the one taking any of the pictures, because you’re somehow in every picture taken with your own camera. If this were before digital, you’d have spent half your life developing everything - except a personality. Next time, how about doing something boring and NOT documenting it?

You as a kid
“Look, I used to be cute, I promise!”

You with hot girls
Guys, putting up a picture of you with two hot girls will not make the other hot girls in your life run away any less frequently. Girls, stop trying to confuse potential boyfriends into thinking that you’re the other girl in the picture.

You, but a professional headshot
This works perfectly, as long as every moment in your life is also airbrushed and creatively lit.

You in a halloween costume
You’re very proud of the work you did to morph yourself into a cat or a nurse or a slutty Elvis. But getting attention for it one night of the year is simply not enough for you. Or 3 nights of the year, because you probably wore the costume more than once.

Your pet
Yes, your pet is adorable. But you need to realize that your friends don’t care about it nearly as much as you do. This is the equivalent of telling everyone how your fantasy football team did this weekend, or telling someone you don’t work with about office politics. They might listen to you, but only because no one better is speaking at the time.

You, but only half of you
Congratulations. A picture of you taken at the exact right angle and carefully photo-shopped looks kind of cute. But no one wants to fuck your eye. Well, I’m sure someone does, but they’re a pervert.

No picture
There could be many reasons for this:

1. You have not mastered the intricacies of uploading yet. It’s difficult to find the time, between watching General Hospital and making dinner for your grandchildren.
2.  You are a conspiracy theorist concerned about your privacy. But for some reason you’re still on Facebook. Perhaps you just really love Farmville.
3. You really do look like a silhouette.
4. You are horrifically ugly.

You will know if you’re #4 if you have no picture and your only friends are relatives.

——-

Thanks Steve Hofstetter! 

Portrait Interpretation pic above c/o FastCompany

The Celebrity Guide to Feelings

LOL! This Celebrity Guide to Feelings by BodySong on DeviantArt is BRILLIANT!

I think it’s pretty incomplete though, so here are a few more I’d add to my own guide…

 Today I’m Feeling ….

Gender-Confused!

Squeaky!

Just Plain Annoying!

Sullen…

… just like a Cullen

*mope*

Bizarre!

Freaky!

Like the Weirdest Person on the Planet… (except maybe Amy Winehouse)

 Who would YOU add?   

The Two Most Annoying Types of Air Travelers

Air travel’s bad enough, but our fellow air travelers often make it SO much worse. Saw these two comics today and they REALLY cracked me up, since I see these types all the time.  

Thanks MurraytheNut & TheOatmeal!

1. The Boarding Line Blockade

2. The Delusional Disembarkers

You can see more of The Crap We Put Up With Getting On and Off  anAirplane at theoatmeal.com.

4 Facebook Games to Avoid Like The Plague

Yeah, yeah I know, it’s been ages since my last blog post. Blame Cafe World and a few other evil Facebook games. I was sucked in a few months ago and have just recently climbed out of the abyss of addiction. Damn you Zynga!! *shakes fist* 

And so… as part of my 12-step process to recovery (the first 6 steps were 1. Stop Playing! 2. Stop Playing! 3. Stop Playing! 4. Stop Playing! 5. Stop Playing! 6. WORK, dammit!!!) I’ve decided to write a blog post to save the yet-untainted from the same experience. 

Mind you, there are a whole lot of other Facebook games you should avoid if you ever want to show your face in normal productive society ever again, but here are four of the most popular (and therefore eeeeeeevil) ones :

 1. Farmville

I’m rather proud to say that even at the lowest point of my Facebook game addiction, I was able to stay away from Farmville — though I have to admit it was a matter of pride more than anything else. I’d spent too much time pre-FBGA (that’s Facebook Game Addiction… keep up, folks) poking fun at Farmville freaks, and I just couldn’t back down.  And it helped a lot, to have that to lean on when my family and friends attempted FBGA interventions… “Hey! Back down! At least I’m not playing FARMVILLE!”

How it Basically Works: Plant crops to make money and decorate your farm. 

Why you should avoid it: Apparently millions of people have a secret desire to live a simple rural life and just farm all day, so it’s highly addicting. Also (more importantly) it’s just NOT COOL. If you don’t believe me, watch this video:

(more…)

The Dangers of Internet Addiction

Raise your hand if you can relate… Yup, I thought so.  

Comic by Georg Pedersen 

Couples Dynamics: The Sad Way the World Views Them

Hilarious.  

via IloveCharts

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Internet Needs

You know, I really don’t think anyone ever actually gets to the top. 

via 9gag

What People Are REALLY Thinking When They Post Facebook Photos

This has to be - hands down - the funniest album I’ve seen in months. (You rule, Jim Bastard)

Guilty Facebookers.. you know who you are.

(more…)

A Brief History of Breakups

… Where we learn that no matter what changes or advances may occur throughout the ages, one universal truth will always remain constant…

via WildAmmo

The Gentleman’s "Hand on Back" Guide

This was originally meant for men, but I actually think some women need to learn this too. 

via Bite

How to Count Calories

 I really like this kind of math.   Thanks again, Murray the Nut!