What Your Choice of Wine Says About You

They say “You are what you eat” — so I figure that applies to what you drink too. Here’s a wine personality profile chart I found in the Texas Wine Compendium. (Click the pic for a larger view)

Note: Even they know know it’s BS, but it’s all in good fun.

Here at the Viticultural Personality Institute, we’ve compiled a fun list of personality types based on wine preferences.

If your favorite wine listed here does not accurately reflect your particular personality, please choose another favorite wine (or change your personality – otherwise, you’ll make our researchers look bad).

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Today’s Time-Waster: Create a Classical Music Contribution at Contrapunctus

Assuming you’ve been ostracized by your officemates because of that brief, unfortunate stint with the Yodelizer, here’s a classier time-waster that might get you back in their good graces.  Or not. You never can tell with these people.

Contrapunctus allows visitors to generate classical music contributions which may someday be included in a live performance by the Third Angle New Music Ensemble.  Just choose an instrument, move your mouse around, and OMG… you’re a classical musician! 

Go try it out! Tip: The faster you shake your mouse, the more notes are played. You can switch instruments midway, and the previous instrument keeps on playing so you can create a more complex composition.  Pretty friggin’ cool, if you ask me.

How to Get Away with Speeding

Best balloons EVER!!! Because sometimes - especially when you’re past your prime - batting your eyelashes at cops just isn’t enough anymore.  

via The High Definite

Cool Tool: The Social Media Cheat Sheet

Fab find! The CMO’s Guide to The Social Landscape is a clear and simple social media guide, perfect for stressed-out marketing professionals like myself who like our learning materials short… and preferably color-coded.

Click the image to see the bigger, more complete version, or download the full screen PDF here.

via Drew McLellan. Source: TheNextWeb

How to Make the Whole World Want Your Ex to Take You Back

Be British, strip down to your undies in the middle of winter, get your giggling friends to help you make a hilariously AWESOME video, and post it up on Youtube. Simple, really.

Watch the vid on YouTube

via Buzzfeed

The Difference Between Depressive and Emo

Yeah, I always wondered about that. Thanks, MurraytheNut.

5 Fun & Easy Ways to Mess Up Your Future

via DogHouse Diaries

Office Theft Stats Show Men Are More Likely to Steal (and Steal More)

Some interesting stats to consider when deciding on your next hire. Yup, that’s right. Pick a woman. Preferably with a post-grad degree.

Source: Infographics Showcase

Site to See: CheaterRegistry.com

Wow. The potential for chaos (and lawsuits) is staggering. 

>> Check out the Cheaters

This site is for people who suspect their mate might be cheating.  Here they can log on and see if anyone has posted them - and just how much evidence there is to prove it.  Videos, photos, audio, texts, emails and even birthmarks.

via Buzzfeed

3 Cool Tools to Help You Sneak a Siesta at Work

I’m a big believer in the energizing abilities of a short siesta, so I was seriously thrilled when I came across an article at Mental Floss on ways to surreptitiously sneak a catnap at work. Here are 3 cool tools from the article to help you nab the occasional workday nap:

1. Sleep Safe Tape

Sleep Safe Tape is a roll of standard transparent 1/2″ wide tape that has pictures of an eye printed along the length of the tape.

As advertised on the site:  Many situations exist where it is taboo to sleep despite the natural inclination of humans to rest their tired eyes. Examples include meetings, lectures, and conversations. With Sleep Safe Tape, users can get the shuteye they need while appearing to be wide awake.

2. The iNap@Work app

The iNap@Work app makes office-like “productivity noises” so that your co-workers will hear a constant din of activity coming from your space.

Just adjust the settings on the iPhone touch screen to pick the sounds you want to simulate — typing, mouse clicks, flipping through papers, stapling, throat-clearing and so on. (You can even adjust the frequency of sounds to simulate either a light or a hectic work day.) Then click Start to begin your nap, and Stop when you want to do some real work.

3. The Workaholic Pillow

The Workaholic Pillow is a cushion hiding in a book shell. Even if you DO get caught napping, it can make it look like you fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. Not ideal, but better than a more premeditated-looking nap scenario (like snoring while curled up in a fetal position under your desk.)

Happy napping!

Worst. Resume. EVER.

O.M.G. I’ve seen a LOT  of bad resumes in my day, but this one I saw on Buzzfeed really leaves me speechless. I’m actually not sure whether to laugh or be really, really annoyed.

Some funny footnotes from the original poster, George, who actually received this resume:

1.  I am sure that the movie “Devil’s Wear Prague” could have been a lovely film that explored some Kafka-esque morality issues but I think he was talking about the light Hollywood piece entitled, “The Devil Wears Prada.”

2.  “American Gnnger” is one letter substitution from becoming “American Ginger” which would clearly star Carrot Top. But I am sure this person meant that horrible movie that Jay-Z made a song for- “American Gangster.”

3. This has got to be my favorite director, Martin Scoresissers!

4.  “Enchanged” = “Enchanted.” I thought I would write a joke about all of these but some of these just aren’t worth my humor juice.

>> Read the rest at Best Roof Talk Ever. 

How to Spot an Insecure Blogger

Just wear this T-shirt, and look around for people giving you hateful glares. haha!

T-shirt by Urban Outfitters

A Typical Day at Work

A few weeks ago I posted a scarily accurate pic of the Cycle of Life. Well, here’s another spot on depiction, this time of a typical day at work.

via Buzzfeed

Cool Tool: The Yahoo Yodelizer

If the Chan!Chan! and Nooooooo! buttons have lost their appeal (or their ability to satisfyingly annoy your officemates), here’s a whole KEYBOARD worth of new sound effects to play around with this week… The Yahoo Yodelizer. 

>> Go try it out! (You can even record your favorite variations)

WARNING: This is seriously irritating. Use it with caution, or be friendless (or fired) forever.

Site to See (for Aspiring Inventors): Quirky

If you’re an aspiring inventor with a big idea (or two)… then this site is a must-see.  Quirky.com is a social product development company that brings one new product from sketch to store every few days. Here’s how it works…

>> View the vid on YouTube

Some info from the site:

quirky is a social product development company. Your product ideas come in, our community & design team works on them, we sell your product worldwide, and share the revenue with our inventors & influencers.

By enabling a fluid conversation between a global community of influencers and an expert product design team– we are able to accomplish the impossible: bringing one brand new product concept from sketch to store each week.

 >> Go check Quirky out

Facebook #FAIL - "Learn to Spellcheck"

LOL! This is classic. 

Today’s Time-Waster: Discover Your Devo Color

The Devo Color Study is conducted by Devo Inc. “for the purpose of leveraging aspects of civilization that appeal to the greater majority (everybody).”

Yeah ok… I really don’t understand that what that’s supposed to mean either, but it’s a fun quiz to take if you have a few minutes to spare. I just wish they’d included space for side comments… 

>> Take the Devo Color Quiz  

Site to See: Code Organ

This is pretty cool…. Code Organ analyzes the code of any web page and turns it into music. What does YOUR website sound like?

>> Go find out at www.codeorgan.com

Dating Tips for Women

via SMBC comics

Today’s Time-Waster: Write Your Own Six-Word Memoir

“SIX WORDS? That’s a TIME-WASTER???” you might ask. But BELIEVE ME… this six-word memoir thing is harder than you think.

If you haven’t heard about Smith Magazine’s Six-Word Memoir Project yet… wow, that’s so 2006. But that’s ok. Here’s the story: 

View the vid on Vimeo

Since then Smith Mag has compiled thousands of memoirs “by writers famous and obscure” — enough to print a few bestselling books:

… and they’re still looking for more! If you’re up to the challenge, go to Smith Mag’s Six-Word Memoir page and submit yours!